A Prayer

Dear God,
I can't sleep. I'm not sure why I went for that afternoon frappuccino. Maybe you wanted me to talk to you this morning. Let me use this perfect pitch-black, morning quiet time to be still and meditate on you. It would be a crime not to start by thanking you for all of the blessings you've bestowed upon me. And it would be even more criminal not to boast about them and share my blessings with whoever will listen - or read. My blessings have been hand-delivered. I know that's true because your fingerprints are all over my life. Your all-power hands are holding me and carrying me. That's the only way I could be feeling the way that I do. I feel better than I have in months. I'm nowhere near 100%. But I'm better. So much better. And I thank you for that. I also thank you for who you are. I thank you for sitting - for actually dwelling - in my heart so that I never have to wonder if you're real or if you're there. You speak to me through other people, constantly showing me goodness and kindness. Knowing you is pure joy - the ultimate gift. I feel you and I hear you and I know you're guiding me. Thanks for allowing me to persevere even in the midst of sadness. Thank you for allowing me to overflow with hope even when ostensibly, there was no way forward. You are my light. Such a beautiful light. I'm humbled by your grace and your mercy and your love. Lord Jesus, my savior, I also come to you to ask you for a complete healing. I know you already know what's on my heart. But by praying to you and praising you and acknowledging that you're the only one that can help me, I know I'm only strengthening my relationship with you through faith. Lord, I am honored to be your daughter. Father's Day is only days away and I'm blessed to know you as the ultimate Father. I'm blessed to be able to see your likeness in the men in my life - the perfect mix of strength and gentle.They constantly strive to be more like you. Still, you're the only father that can help me. I trust you will provide my every need. I know you're the ultimate miracle-maker and healer. I'm asking that you rid me of this awful thing that has hurt me and my family and so many people that I love. I'm asking you to heal me, completely. I'm asking you to hold me close as I go in for chemo - a dose of life-saving poison - later today. I'm asking you to stay with me in the hospital next week to comfort me and to protect me. It's so hard sometimes, Lord. I'm being poisoned in order to live. I'm being stripped so that I can rebound. But I know you are there. And as it says in Proverbs 3:8, I know you will be "health to my navel and marrow to my bones"  - the two things I want most in the world. Please don't allow me to be a source of sadness or pity but a reflection of your grace and mercy. Please help me be a source of inspiration and light and most of all, love. Please teach me how to pray. Please teach me how to praise you. Please help me to give back and to serve. Please continue to rain blessings on my family and the entire network of angels supporting me and helping to lift me up. Please strengthen me so that I can one day thank them and return the love. Please continue to guide me so that I represent you in all that I do. Please continue to be a shield over my family. Please continue to move us toward much happier, sunnier days - away from the dark days of  December when my diagnosis seemed to spell doom. Thank you for enlightening me. Continue to speak to my heart and soul. I'm elated because I see your everyday miracles more clearly now. I love you with all of my heart. Lord I adore you - more now that ever before. Thank you, Jesus. Amen.


Proverbs 3:5-8 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own
understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Be not
wise in thine own eyes: fear the Lord and depart from evil. It shall be health to your navel
and marrow to your bones. Just what a bone marrow cancer patient needs.