Countdown

Heading to the hospital in six days. 6 days! And I can't stop thinking about it. It's like there's a clock ticking in my head, distracting me from thinking about anything else. I could be in the hospital for weeks. I'm hoping not more than three. My son isn't allowed to visit, and I've never gone that long without seeing him. I'm trying not to get anxious but  this whole transplant thing is a little frightening. I don't even feel like going into the scary details because I know everything will be fine. Everything so far has been fine. And I'm strong enough to handle this. I keep reminding myself of that. This is the meat and potatoes of my treatment. I need this and I will get through this. This is what I need to move on with my life. It's just daunting to know that it'll have to lose so much to get there. My mind won't stop running. Hair. My immune system. Both will be wiped out this time next week. I'll be tired and sick. Stuck in bed. No son. No hair. No energy.  Fragile. It'll take 3 months for me to recover at home. 3 months!!!  Vomiting. Nausea. Wearing a mask to prevent infections. And no hair??!!! This is when the Why Me's creep in.